
There’s no real way to prepare for the emotions that come with watching your child head off to college. Pride, excitement, worry—they all show up at once. But when your child has executive function challenges—struggles with planning, organization, managing time or emotions—that worry can sit a little heavier.
You’ve likely spent years stepping in, keeping things on track, and helping them stay afloat. Now, as they take their next big step, you may find yourself wondering: How much help is too much? Will they be okay without me keeping tabs?
Here’s the truth: they can thrive. But it takes a different kind of support—one that begins before the move-in day and continues with trust, patience, and connection.
1. Understand What’s Coming
College is a different world when it comes to executive functioning. There are no automatic reminders, no notes home, no gentle nudges from teachers. Deadlines are strict. Distractions are endless. Routines are optional—and entirely self-directed.
This shift can feel overwhelming, especially if your child is used to external structure. But when you anticipate those challenges together, they become something you can plan around, rather than be surprised by.
2. Shift from Manager to Coach
This might be the hardest part—especially if you’ve spent years managing calendars, emailing teachers, and helping them through meltdowns.
Now, your job shifts:
- Collaborate with your child to build a plan for the first few weeks of college
- Help them set up tools—digital calendars, daily routines, reminders
- Schedule regular check-ins (just knowing you’ll talk each Sunday can provide comfort)
You’re no longer running the show, but you’re still in their corner. Quiet support, not constant oversight, is what helps them grow.
3. Point Them Toward the Right Resources—Before They Struggle
Many parents wait until something goes wrong to suggest support. But you don’t have to. Encouraging your child to connect with campus services early can make all the difference.
Explore these together:
- Disability support services (for accommodations, early course registration, and access to assistive tools)
- Academic coaching (for help with time management, studying, and executive functioning)
- Counseling and wellness centers (for emotional support and coping tools)
Normalize these resources as smart tools, not signs of weakness.
4. Expect a Learning Curve—and Celebrate the Small Wins
This transition isn’t seamless, even for the most “on-track” students. For kids with executive function challenges, the bumps may feel bigger—but they’re not signs of failure. They’re signs of learning.
When your child emails a professor without being prompted, figures out how to register for classes, or remembers to refill a prescription—that’s growth. Celebrate it. Mention it. These small victories lay the groundwork for lasting independence.
5. Build Self-Advocacy Before Move-In Day
You can’t advocate for them from afar—but you can help them learn how to advocate for themselves now.
Practice these together:
- Role-play asking for help—from a professor, advisor, or RA
- Write out email drafts for tricky situations
- Talk through when and how to use support systems
This kind of preparation doesn’t just build skills—it lowers anxiety, for both of you.
Final Thought: You’re Not Letting Go—You’re Letting Them Lead
Sending your child off to college is an act of courage—for them, and for you. It means loosening your grip, but not your presence. It means trusting the work you’ve done over the years—and the work they’re about to do.
There will be hard days. Missed alarms. Forgotten assignments. Calls home that leave you wondering if they’re really ready.
But there will also be growth. There will be resilience. There will be moments when you catch a glimpse of the capable adult emerging—and realize that this journey, messy as it is, is exactly what they need.
You’ve gotten them this far. You’re still their biggest support. And they’re going to be okay.
To inquire about Executive Function coaching and services, reach out here. I meet with clients both in-person and on Zoom!